The Hidden Light of the Shadow: A Soulful Guide to Shadow Work and Wholeness

In a world that often rewards the curated version of ourselves—the polished, the filtered, the socially acceptable—what happens to the parts we tuck away?

The truth is, we all carry a shadow. Not because we are broken, but because we are human.

Shadow work is the sacred practice of turning inward to meet the parts of ourselves we've learned to hide. It's the process of naming the unnamed, reclaiming the rejected, and making space for the wholeness we long for.

What Is the Shadow?

First introduced by psychologist Carl Jung, the "shadow" refers to the unconscious aspects of our personality that our ego tends to reject or suppress. These can include things we perceive as negative—jealousy, anger, fear, neediness—but also qualities we disown because they challenge the narratives we've built about who we are. That might include power, sensuality, creativity, or assertiveness.

Jung famously wrote, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

The shadow self is not inherently bad or dangerous. It's simply the part of us that has not yet been brought into the light of awareness. Shadow work is how we begin that process—not to shame or banish these parts, but to integrate them, bringing them home.

Why Shadow Work Matters for Healing and Wholeness

In my own journey, and in the work I do with people navigating burnout recovery, purpose discovery, leadership development, and worthiness reclamation, I see time and again how much pain comes from living in a fragmented state. We try to be "good" instead of whole. We perform instead of feel. We compartmentalize instead of integrate.

Shadow work invites us to do something radical in today’s fast-paced world: slow down and be honest.

When we meet our shadow with compassion, we begin to reclaim our energy. We free ourselves from outdated patterns. We soften into a more authentic experience of life. The result is not perfection, but integrity. Not arrival, but embodiment. This is what holistic inner work looks like.

Research in psychotherapy and trauma recovery supports this, too. Studies show that integration of disowned parts of self is key to healing emotional wounds, increasing self-compassion, and improving psychological well-being (Neff, 2003; van der Kolk, 2014).

Common Signs Your Shadow Is Calling

• Emotional triggers that feel outsized or irrational

• Resistance to stillness or self-reflection

• Repeating relational patterns you can’t seem to shift

• Feelings of unworthiness, shame, or "too muchness"

• Judgments of others that mirror disowned traits within you

  
  

These are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are invitations to get curious.

How to Do Shadow Work: A Gentle Beginning

1. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Before you dive deep, you need an anchor. Self-compassion is that anchor. As Dr. Kristin Neff has shown, it allows us to face difficult truths without spiraling into shame. Offer yourself kindness, especially when old pain resurfaces.

2. Notice Your Triggers

Our emotional triggers are like breadcrumbs, leading us straight to the shadow. Instead of dismissing them, ask: What part of me feels unseen, unheard, or unsafe right now?

3. Journal with Intention

Writing can reveal what the conscious mind resists. Try prompts like:

• "The part of me I most avoid is..."

• "If I were completely honest, I would admit..."

• "What I judge in others that I secretly fear in myself is..."

4. Practice Witnessing, Not Fixing

The shadow doesn’t want to be solved. It wants to be seen. Your job is to notice with tenderness, not to rush into "healing" as a project. Sit with the discomfort. Let it teach you.

5. Seek Support When Needed

Shadow work can be emotionally intense. A trauma-informed coach, therapist, or healing circle can help you hold the mirror with love and safety.

The Spiritual Side of Shadow Work

While rooted in psychology, shadow work is also deeply spiritual. Many traditions speak of the necessity of descent—into the underworld, into darkness—as part of the path to wisdom and transformation. Think of Inanna, Persephone, or even the archetypal Heroine’s Journey.

The shadow holds sacred data about who we truly are beneath our conditioning. It doesn’t dim our light; it deepens it.

As Clarissa Pinkola Estés writes in Women Who Run with the Wolves, "To be strong does not mean to sprout muscles and flex. It means meeting one's own shadow with openness, trust, and humility."

The Gift on the Other Side

When we do shadow work, we don’t become someone new. We remember who we were before the world told us to split ourselves into pieces.

We become more whole, more real, more rooted in our truth. We shed the masks that once kept us safe but now keep us small. And we begin to live from a place of bold presence, able to honor our light and our dark.

Shadow work isn’t easy. But it is sacred. And it is worth it.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to go even deeper by listening to my latest episode of the Internally Guided Life podcast: Exploring the Shadow with Emily Nascimento. It’s a soulful conversation about what it truly means to meet our shadows with love, and how that meeting can change everything.

With love and courage,

Kayla

If you’re ready to create a life where you feel energized, balanced, and aligned with your purpose, let’s connect. Imagine waking up each day with clarity about what truly matters and the confidence to lead from a place of authenticity and strength. Schedule a free discovery call with me, and we’ll work together to uncover the tools, insights, and strategies you need to step fully into your potential and create a life you love.

I’m Kayla M. Sweet, MA, a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach and the founder of Internally Guided Leadership Consulting LLC. I believe in the power of living in alignment with your strengths and values, and I’ve dedicated my career to helping heart-centered women do just that. With a BA in Psychology, an MA in Consciousness and Transformative Studies, and over a decade of experience in leadership, human resources, talent development, and mental health, I bring a unique blend of expertise and empathy to the work I do.

My approach is all about empowering you to reconnect with your strengths, trust your inner wisdom, and create a sense of balance that feels sustainable and true to who you are. You’re not broken, and you don’t need fixing. What you need is space to grow, support to navigate life’s transitions, and guidance to step into your worth with confidence.

If this resonates, I’d love for you to tune into my Internally Guided Life Podcast—a space where I share stories, tools, and inspiration to help you lead with purpose and create meaningful change.

Sources:

• Jung, C. G. (1959). Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self. Princeton University Press.

• Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.

• van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

• Estés, C. P. (1992). Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype. Ballantine Books.