.jpg)
Breakthrough Burnout in the Garden
I've been spending some time outside in my garden the past couple of weeks - now that it appears the frost risk in Indiana might finally be behind us. I have some of my deepest insights while I'm in the garden, and today, I knew I needed to share some. Let me preface this with the disclaimer that I am no expert gardener. It's only my third year with a yard and a garden, and I have very little idea what I'm doing out there. All I know is that gardening is good for me, and when I slow down and pay attention - I'm good for the garden too. Gardening is a great way to spend time connecting with nature, practice mindfulness, get physical activity, soak up the sunshine, and grow healthy organic food - But perhaps the biggest benefit I've gotten from gardening is this:
When I care for my garden, I learn to better care for myself.
I've always been driven, striving to do more, develop myself in new ways, lead others, and keep learning - but I haven't always known how to do these things in a healthy and balanced way. I've had several brushes with burnout and, through these, realized that self-care and internal healing are central to healthy leadership. We have to nurture the garden within if we hope to bear fruit to nourish our teams, organizations, families, and communities.
Whether you are someone who gardens, aspires to garden, or needs to learn some lessons in self-love via garden metaphors - read on. Today, I'll share 6 lessons in burnout resilience taught by my garden.
Take these lessons to heart, and you will begin to nourish and nurture the garden that is you.
Pull Out The Weeds
I don't use any chemicals in my garden and like to do as much with my hands as possible, which means - lots of time pulling out weeds so my herbs and vegetables can grow to their fullest potential.
Not everything growing in the garden will be helpful to the goal of growing vegetables. The wandering plants, grasses, and weeds must be removed to grow nourishing food.
There are no shortcuts or easy ways to accomplish this task. Keeping the weeds out of the garden is a daily practice, something you must return to repeatedly.
This is also true in the garden of our minds and lives.
Just because it's growing within or around us doesn't mean it's life-giving for us. We must intentionally, consistently, and with great care remove the things from our minds, lives, and environments that are not serving us. This means taking the time to spot the things that are growing that aren't healthy for us and finding ways to remove them from our lives.
Sometimes, the weeds inside are in the form of old and unhelpful beliefs about ourselves or the world.
Sometimes, they are thoughts that creep in almost unnoticed and cause us anxiety and stress.
Sometimes, the weeds show up as clutter filling up our homes.
Sometimes, it's relationships that aren't honoring who we are and what we need.
Sometimes, it's our own behavior patterns that aren't serving us and are making us tired.
Take a moment to evaluate what is growing in your mind and life that isn't serving you in the way you need. How can you do some weeding here to make space for something beautiful to grow?
Nourish the Soil/Soul
Whatever you grow - plants, vegetables, flowers, or herbs - they need soil that is filled with nutrition and is just the right balance to allow life to thrive. Whether you add compost, fresh soil, natural fertilizer, ash, or any other type of nourishment - if you garden, you know that the soil needs tending to as much as the plants. Without rich soil, life is doomed.
Similarly, with human beings - that which is beneath the surface of our lives, deep underground where our roots grow needs to be tended to. The soil of our lives is something I refer to as soul - it's the underground, meaning-laden, deeply connected part of our being that you can't see on the surface of our skin but is necessary for vibrant lives.
Regardless of religious or spiritual beliefs, it's important to nourish the part of us that is intangible and holds the essence of our lives. Nourishing the soul means spending time connecting with that which is bigger than yourself and that you are deeply interconnected with. It's about spending time honoring the parts of us that crave stories, creativity, nature, meaning, awe, wonder, and connection.
Gardening is good for my soul. It gets me outside, connecting with the rhythm of life and getting my hands dirty. Other things that nourish my soul are spending time being creative, stargazing, swimming in a lake or ocean, walking in nature, meditating, having a deep conversation with a loved one, or doing yoga.
What nourishes your soul? Prayer? Meditation? Time in nature? Something else entirely?
Are you spending sufficient time nourishing your soul? If not, how can you start?
Lots of Sunshine
Plants can't grow without sunshine. Plants use photosynthesis to take soak up and capture the energy from the sun to convert water and carbon dioxide into a sugar called glucose, which they then use for energy to make things needed for plant growth. Sunshine is the life force that allows plants to grow. While the amount of sunlight needed varies by the type of plant, no plant can grow without any sunlight. Because of this, the placement of a garden is very important. You have to ensure they are located somewhere the plants will get just the right amount of sunlight to grow and thrive.
I've applied this lesson to my life in a few ways.
People are a lot like plants. Sunshine helps us grow too.
We need to be mindful of our surroundings and strategically place ourselves in environments where we will get the energy, light, and sustenance we need.
Shining the light of awareness onto our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and life experiences can be incredibly healing.
Spending time outside is lifesaving in so many ways. The fresh air, sunshine, green plants, and open spaces make me feel alive. But even if you aren't outdoorsy, you can still learn a great lesson about your environment. You need certain things in your life to grow and thrive. Light - whether it's actual sunlight or the metaphorical light of awareness - is necessary in our lives.
Do the spaces you occupy and the people in your life give you the energy you need to grow? Is your environment life-giving? Do you have practices that allow you to deepen your self-awareness and shine light onto the shadows within you?
Sometimes, we need to replant ourselves in a new environment if we aren't getting enough sunlight where we are.
How can you get a little more light in your life?
Water, Water, Water
There's nothing more disheartening than forgetting to water your garden and finding your plants on the brink of death. Plants need lots of water. Water helps plants transport nutrients and minerals from the soil into and throughout the plant. It also plays a key role in photosynthesis and helps plants regulate their temperatures. Without water, plants can't survive.
Again, we are like plants and need lots of water to survive and thrive. One of the most important things we can do to nourish our physical bodies is to drink enough water. When we are under stress and trying to do everything in a given day, meeting our basic needs like food, water, and sleep can get put on the back burner. I've been there. I've thought I could survive with the bare minimum of the above if only I pushed hard enough. It didn't end well for me, and it won't end well for you.
As we make ourselves resilient to stress and burnout, we must consistently meet our basic needs. We need to create habits that we can hold ourselves accountable to in order to ensure our basic physical needs are met. Otherwise, we get sick and find ourselves feeling like the life has drained out of us - just like those poor flowers we forgot to water for a week in the middle of summer.
Are you nourishing your physical body by meeting your basic needs of food, water, and rest? Be honest. If not, pick one to start focusing on today. I promise it will make a difference.
Get Curious and Experiment
I've learned a lot in the garden through trial and error. I've also learned a lot by looking things up online, reading books, and talking to other people who enjoy gardening. I don't just keep doing the same thing in my garden if it's not working and my plants aren't thriving. I get curious, ask questions, research, and try new things until I get it right. Each year, I'm getting better at keeping plants alive and getting nutritious yields of food that feed my husband and me. The first round of vegetables I planted that first year of my garden all died. Every single one. I was devastated, but I didn't give up. I learned from my mistakes and tried some new strategies.
We intuitively know we need to get curious, ask questions, and experiment when we do things like garden - but for some reason, when it comes to our lives, we are entirely too likely to just keep doing things that aren't working for us. For example, we overcommit even though we are exhausted; we fail to draw boundaries in relationships that are draining us; we neglect the hobbies we love because we have told ourselves there's no time for them; we keep going through the same motions of day-to-day life even though we aren't happy...
WHY DO WE DO THIS?
We need to get as curious about ourselves as we do in the garden. We need to start asking questions and trying new things even if we aren't sure how they will turn out. We need to stop doing things habitually that aren't serving us and are contributing to our stress.
This one life is too short to allow the days and weeks to pass by feeling like we didn't choose it.
What's one thing you keep doing that you know isn't serving you? Dig into that thing with the curiosity of a scientist. Think of some alternative things you can do instead or in addition to that will give your life back some light.
Don't let a fear of failure or uncertainty hold you back - it's okay to learn what works through trial and error, just like in the garden.
Honor the Cycles of Nature
Our gardens require different things at different times of the year. Our gardens are part of the natural world, and they ebb and flow with the seasons, requiring a different kind of love and tending as the weeks go by.
We don't expect our gardens to be flourishing in the middle of winter. We know that if we don't fertilize our soil and plant new seedlings in spring that we won't have fresh fruit or vegetables later in the summer. We honor and respect the cycles of nature in our gardens, but we don't often offer ourselves this same grace.
We are part of nature. Just because we've thoroughly divorced ourselves from the ways our ancestors lived and have all kinds of modern conveniences that keep up indoors far too often doesn't mean that we aren't natural, cyclical, rhythmic beings. We are.
We each have a unique rhythm that moves through us, and we cycle through energy phases throughout the days, weeks, months, and years just like the natural world around us. We must tune into our natural cycles and work with them rather than against them. (If you are looking for more support and information on cyclical living and leadership - check out the work my dear friend Emily is doing at Wild Eyes Coaching)
When are you most energetic? When are your energy slumps? Are you most productive early in the morning or late in the evening? How does your energy cycle each day, month, and year? What patterns or cycles have you recognized within yourself? How can you honor these natural rhythms more fully and honestly? Asking yourself these questions will help you get in touch with the cycles you've been ignoring so that you can create a lifestyle that works for you and with your rhythm rather than against it.
Concluding Thoughts
We could all learn a few lessons from the garden. Especially as we learn to love, care for, and tend to ourselves in ways that create the lives we want to live. So many people are stressed out, burned out, and worn down. It feels hopeless in these places, but it doesn't have to stay that way.
You can learn to radically love yourself and take an active leadership role in your life. The world needs more healed leaders who have spent the time learning to care for themselves so well that they are overflooding with care and love to offer the world.
If you are struggling with chronic stress or burnout, don't try to white-knuckle your way through it. Reach out for support. When we encounter a problem we can't solve in our garden, we seek help. Similarly, we should seek help when we encounter a problem too big to overcome alone in our lives.
I've been there - I've been stressed out, burned out, and worn down so far that I couldn't recognize myself. I've learned that if I'm not actively and consistently practicing radical self-love and working to create a life of balance, it's only a matter of time before burnout greets me again. And thanks to the support of friends, family, teachers, coaches, therapists, education, training, and resources along my path, I am now honored to support others who are struggling and ready to step into their power. I designed my coaching program, Burnout to Balance, to support people in changing their lives by learning to manage their stress and walk in their purpose. Schedule your free discovery call today to discuss how this program can help you move past burnout and into the life you know you are meant for.
Until next time, love yourself like a well-tended garden.
Warmly,
Kayla
If you are on the verge of burnout and ready to take your life back, schedule a free discovery call with me today. You will leave the call with clarity about what you need to transform your life from Burnout to Balance.
Kayla M. Sweet is the owner, operator, and primary service provider at Internally Guided Leadership Consulting LLC.
Kayla has her BA in Psychology and her MA in Consciousness and Transformative Studies. She specializes in Transformational Leadership and Consciousness and Healing.
Kayla has over a decade of experience in leadership and management and has most recently served in human resources and mental health settings. She currently offers leadership coaching, consulting, and training in alignment with her mission to make the world a more loving place by empowering heart-centered leaders to live with balance and purpose.
Don't forget to read the fine print:
The Internally Guided Leadership Blog is the property of Internally Guided Leadership Consulting LLC. It is not to be reproduced, sold, or distributed without permission and appropriate credit given to Internally Guided Leadership LLC and content creator Kayla M. Sweet. This blog promotes Internally Guided Leadership LLC's services, including but not limited to coaching programs, 1:1 coaching, and leadership consulting.